this time last year, your were beautiful and perfect and everything i ever wanted, and you made me smile. you werent the same person you are now...

four days before our one year. and one day to ruin everything. this hurts so much, i don't think i can put it into words. i came back to this being the only way i knew i could get things out, handwriting things takes too long, and my mind goes too fast for my hand.


my stomach wont relieve me of these knots, and i can hold myself together for just a bit everyday till, i start crying again. tomorrow will have been our one year, and i can't even breathe thinking about it.


maybe this wasnt the right place for us both, but why can't i take it all back, i let myself get crushed multiple times by your actions and words, the words were worse. they just made your actions even more understandable, how did i spend a whole year loving someone who never loved me, who tore me down, and chose others over me. i shouldn't have been so stupid, and if i hadn't i wouldnt be here begging this to go away. i wanna fight the tears but i quiver, and cringe and i cant hold them in as much as i want too.
you always go back to your ex's and all the girls i had to deal with while we were dating, they were sending you hearts <3 while we were dating, must i have known but trusted you too much. its only adds to this pain. its only makes this that more unbareable, and the sad part is... you don't even care.