Thank god for chances. Thank god for forgiveness.





Up until recently I didn't know it was possible to love someone this much.
I don't ever want things to change.

I wish I didn't make such stupid mistakes. I am so angry and upset with myself. I really don't know what to do.

hi. im alive again, and back. now its time for me to really start writing in this again.



jane and I got a bunch of new clothes and stuff today, Kohls, Target, H&M
yes.



it made me so happy,
waiting for evan to get here now, hanging out with tori, fee, and jane.

daaaaance party tonight, just trying to get wasted.

i stopped writing in here for a reason, and i dont know what it is.



but this has been the closest i have ever been to falling the fuck apart.

its been too long.

I haven't updated my blog in over a month now. It's May 5th, and I never even had a recap on my trip to LA. Or where I went when school got out, where im going would have suited better. Or really where I have been..



Evan and I are together. That's one thing I suppose is for sure right now, and how much I love him confuses me so much everyday.



We both ended up fighting over each other, him with Adam, I with Kate, there were charges being pressed but she apologized and dropped them, saying I really had every right to be furious. Which I do and always will.

California was a month ago, but it was amazing. Bongs, and a unicorn bowl were my favorite items I brought home. Summers doing real good for herself and I am so proud of her.

I think im leaving out two important things, VERY important things. Things that have changed my life.

One being I moved into my very first apartment on May 1st. It's beautiful, and I love it. Kristen's my roomate and we are so happy to have such an big nice place :)


Second, we lost David Chung. I said we because I know how many other people loved him just as I did. I get sick thinking about the fact that I never got to say goodbye to him, or tell him how much I loved him. 16 years of his life were cut so short, and everyday Ill remember the memories we had, and his smile. Something that lit up a room. Something that could light up your heart. I love you David.


all for now, I know I've left out so much, but at least im updating finally.

refreshing.

today some what was, I suppose it may be the lazy morning, or the fact that I just felt happy because of what I woke up too. who knows? I really enjoyed one thing about my day and that was the sushi resturaunt that I went to alone around 4, so, the weathers beautiful here, and im walking down the street, I see the sushi place and go in through a beaded drapery across the doorway. its empty, and rather small, there is dollar bills hanging all over the walls with names and things people have written on them over the years. they asked to go or for here? I start to say to go but then realize this eager look on their face to have company, and even though I was all alone, I would be someone new to them, so I change my mind quickly and say for here. they older man of the 3 that were working pulls out a chair at the bar for me to sit in, I think, aw wow, how polite? Burbank is like living in a fairytale land. to make this story short which I want to do, the service was beautiful, they were so great, i sat there all alone listening to My heart will go on off the Titanic soundtrack, at the end I was given an orange slice with light icing on it and a thin cookie stick with pink icing. yum love it.